According to a recent National Health and Social Life Survey, only 17% of women enjoy giving oral sex. The word Fellatio comes from the Latin fellātus, meaning to suck—and many ladies think blowjobs do just that. However, with a little education, going down can be fun, playful, sexy, and may even turn you on, too.

“I used to hate giving blowjobs,” says Darlinda Just Darlinda, who has been helping customers select sex trinkets and contraptions and dishing out wisdom for about six years at Babeland’s Soho shop, New York City’s go-to stop for toys, erotica, and adult sex-ed. Incidentally, Darlinda, who is also an accomplished burlesque performer, changed her mind one day while watching a lesbian porn video of women giving oral to dildos. She observed that they looked like they were just having so much darn fun. “You literally have the power of pleasure in your mouth,” she told Blisstree with a smile. Darlinda was happy to give us a few expert tips, sure to help you pass your “orals” and get you one step closer to earning your Sex Ph.D.

Meet the Penis

Lady parts have a rep for being intricate and difficult to navigate. But in actuality, dudes have got some pretty complex machinery, too. The popular book Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex helped us learn our way around:

Shaft: This area—the long stretch of the male member from the balls to the beginning of the head—is less sensitive than the tip, but stimulation here, no doubt, contributes to a guy’s ability to reach orgasm. Darlinda recommends you begin your performance by stroking, licking or tickling this area.

Glans: The head of the penis is a bundle of nerves that will unfailingly respond well to touch by tongue or hand. Like a lady’s clitoris, if you want to push the right buttons, apply varied pressure and sweeping tongue movements to this spot.

Coronal Ridge: This area where the head meets the shaft has even more sensitivity than the glans. Darlinda says to trace it with the tip of a tongue or a well-lubed finger.

Frenulum: The tiny triangle shaped dent, located on the underside of the head is a piece of webbed skin, the last vestige of foreskin on a circumcised penis. This area has the most nerve endings, and you’ll be well appreciated for applying light thumb or tongue pressure on this area.

Urethral Opening: Urine and semen comes out of this hole at the very tip of a dick. Some dudes like it touched, some prefer you spend less time with it. (Search facial expressions for clues as to your guy’s preference.)

Scrotum: Treat these babies with loving kindness, caress gently with hand or mouth.

Perineum: This space between the balls and the rectum is one way to reach the prostate, the male G-spot. Try applying finger pressure while working the tip and shaft with your tongue.

Rectum: If you’re up for it (or down for it?), a little exterior stim adds a nice amount of sensation. In the future, Blisstree will help you further explore your way through the backdoor.

Get to the Head of the Class

“The most important thing when giving a blowjob is to use your hands,” says Darlinda. This will not only give your jaw a much-need rest throughout the act, but the extra touch to his member will also increase sensation and excitement. Since you will be incorporating your ten digits, the second most important tip is to have plenty of lube on-hand. Darlinda recommends a silicon-based lube like Babelube ($22), which acts like an oil (though is non-greasy), heats up with skin contact, is safe to ingest, tasteless, and does not have an odor. Now that you two are slippery, it’s time to get down to business:

1) The Master Stroke: Long sweeping movements up and down the shaft—with either a hand, fingers, or tongue—are a staple of a quality foreplay repertoire, and an especially great way to build up momentum for your expert performance.

2) The Endless Vagina: This one can sort of simulate the real thing if done with the right dose of lube. Cup both hands around the shaft and move up – and up – in long, sweeping movements. Alternating hands as you go along the penis; next do the same movement down the shaft.

3) The Doorknob: Cup one hand around the head, making gentle circular motions. Try this one with your tongue to keep him knocking.

4) All Thumbs: A little thumb (or tongue) pressure on the frenulum is guaranteed to get more than those two digits up.

The Tootsie Roll: Wrap both hands around the shaft, make motions as if wringing out a washcloth (though of course, with a bit less pressure).

The Pump: Tried and true, fast and efficient, a favorite among teenage boys worldwide, this old faithful will still get high marks, especially if it’s done in tandem with some fancier moves.
Extra Credit

Get a New Position: Most of us can use our imagination but if you’re stumped check out Moregasm for a few ideas. Whatever position you assume, choose what feels comfortable for both of you and gives you the best access to your partner.

Get Him Going and Grease him Up: The Jimmyjane Ember Massage Candle ($35) will set the right mood. The pretty candle melts down as scented oil and comes to bring a bourbon or vanilla.

Toys, toys, toys: Cock rings ($8 and up), grips ($48), vibrators ($99) are just some of the items you can incorporate into your foreplay for a little fun. As Darlinda said: “Things like these make me wish I had a penis.”

Communicate in New Ways: Many ladies feel awkward about engaging in dirty talk—or they just don’t know what to say. Here’s one way to get your tongue untied: just tell him what you’re going to do. Darlinda also recommends using a number scale from 1 to 10 to get know his preferences better. Say, for example, “What I just did was a number 5 for pressure, should I do more or less.” Also, it goes without saying that yes and no questions work well in the bedroom. Simplicity is usually best.

Give Yourself a Little Stimulation: Just because you’re pleasing your partner, doesn’t mean you can’t also please yourself. Place a vibrator on your clit while going down on him. That should keep you buzzing along.

Tags: Give a Hand to the Blowjob Queen