OK, there are the following possibilities, note that a bull might also try to mount you, but that this can easily be avoided by some steps back (or just lying on the ground under them?).

- Jerking him off: To do this, you have to rub the tip of the penis and/or the end of the bull's sheath gently, but firmly. If he loses some urine, he is somewhat aroused. If he raises his tail and starts defecating, he is truly aroused (ore bored beyond belief :-)). Sooner or later you will feel the thin, hot, juicy tip of the penis between your fingers at the sheath, touch it. This will lead to a fully erected penis you can easily manipulate, but that will go down again very soon. Note: contrary to stallions, grabbing into the sheath does cause POSITIVE response!

- Sucking him off: Follow the above instructions, but use your mouth on the penis. NO TEETH!!! I tried this only once with a VERY positive reaction of the animal and was surprised by a high-pressure shot that made me spit and cough (tasted great, though), on the other occasions the bull just tried mounting me with a full erection...seems I was too late for him then.

For security: Do NOT sit in front of the 'natural direction' of the penis! A bull's penis reaches out of it's sheath about 30 to 40 centimeters (that's 12 to 16 inches, roughly).

- Sheath fucking: This one's dedicated to Nevyn. As one has to get some clothes off, it is only safe at night or at a private place. Haven't tried it myself, though.

- Anal play: bulls LIKE anal play/anal intercourse, but they WILL defecate, so GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF!!! NOT recommended by me.

AGAIN: Never let the bull mount you! Never let him fuck you with you in the 'pushing' direction of the penis!

One also can play along with the bull's balls (I like them) or even ride some of them (I didn't manage to get one going anywhere, though). They also like the taste and smell of your urine (piss anywhere in front of their nose, do NOT hit the eyes!). Of course one can also have a full-night romance just scratching and rubbing them anywhere they like it...

What NOT to do!

Though I only have faced aggressive behaviour in ONE bull so far (and met DOZENS of them of which I picked the least shy ones), I have to warn you.
- NEVER run away from a bull (or cow), they will follow you and eventually run over you, aggressive or not. Take a tactical retreat!

- NEVER enter a pasture when a bull exposes territorial/defensive behaviour like scratching in the dust with the front hooves, snorting, shaking the head wildly or similar.

- NEVER try to use a trick to grab the bull's penis, like when he is going to mount a cow. They'll run away (and you WILL be kicked accidentally).

- NEVER, NEVER, NEVER start a fake attack (or a real one) on any animal!!! They'll come back for you to fight it out!

Tags: Sex With a Bull, Guide To Have Sex With a Bull, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

First, you should know that a breeding boar, one that is used all the time for sows, is not for you. They become very aggressive and can easily injure you. You really should think about one of the smaller breeds that normally doesn't go over 250 pounds, or so. You should get a male piglet and hand raise it so that it is your pet. Pigs are smarter than dogs and train easy since they are extremely food oriented.

Second, you really need to enjoy contact -in- your cervix and large amounts of thick semen. A pig's penis is designed to get into the cervix. As he fucks, the curly tip turns inside the vagina seeking the cervix. The tip is very slender and made to slide into the cervix. Once the cervical entrance is found the pig's curly tip will "lock" into your cervix and the pig's fucking will slow down.

Third, you should enjoy a big, big load. After he locks into your cervix he will begin to cum a lot. Some pigs can pump out almost two cups of cum. At first, the semen is clear and somewhat thin. Then a thicker, milky semen that has most of the sperm comes, a lot comes. Lastly some very thick semen like jelly is slowly pumped inside you.

It takes a pig about 15 - 20 minutes to cum. The whole time his tip is in your cervix. Every time he squirts his tip will flex and massage your cervix. The shaft is narrow so it is mostly the tip in your cervix that does the sexy stuff. Plus being filled really full of thick cum. That thick cum can stay in you for days so you should be ready for that. It can slide out much later without much warning.

Having a special pig that is kept away from other farm animals and is kept in very clean conditions is a real good idea. Pigs like to be clean if given the chance. Did you ever see the Green Acres TV show? The pig on that show is a good example of how well a pig can fit into peoples' lives.

Tags: Sex With Boar, Guide to Woman and Boar Sex, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

So-o-o-o, maybe you've thought about trying to make it with a stallion...after all, they sure look like a good time. Here's a few tips on how to make the experience more rewarding for both of you.
1) Find a stallion: preferably somewhere where no one will hear him grunting and snorting, and come to investigate...Older stallions are better; they are more sensible, and less likely to spaz out and hurt someone. Don't even bother with the ones who are half-crazy already, they only get worse when stimulated.

2) The Approach: Quietly walk up to about 10' from him and stop. Let him come to you to investigate. Move very slowly, so as not to startle him, and let him sniff you over...gently pet his neck and withers and murmur encouraging words -win his trust-. At this point it is helpful to smell like a mare in heat...it does wonders for their libido.

3) Smell like an estrus mare: Find a mare in heat, usually 5-6 days out of every 21 (I know it ain't that easy). Approach as in 2) above...pet her flanks and work your way slowly back to rub her tush, and base of her tail. Watch her ears...if she resents this contact she will flatten them back, and swish her tail...further pursuit could lead to being kicked. If the mare does not seem to object, GENTLY dip a finger into her vulva, getting her natural aroma on your hands...some mares will not cooperate and move away from the contact... remember, that is their choice. If the mare tolerates your advances, continue to massage her privates...if she really responds well (by raising her tail and squatting), you can try...oh, yeah...that's for my follow-up article soon to come "How to have more fun with your mare"

4) Restraint: yes, it's a good idea. Some studs get overly excited and react by kicking, biting and/or trying to mount you, all of which are no fun unless yer into S and M too...(although a quick nip on the rump can be fun). Take a halter and lead rope and tie him to a stout object using a slipknot...you do know how to tie a slipknot, don't you? If not, see yer local cub scouts for lessons. The reason for the slipknot is to be able to release him instantly if there's a problem.

5) The Rub: Let the stallion smell the nice, fresh mare odor on your hands- he should respond with snorts, whinnies and (hopefully) an erection. Starting with his neck, pet him gently, massaging his withers and slowly working your way back to his belly and privates. Some studs will get kinda twitchy at this point, swish their tails and kick- stay close to his body, and away from his rear to be safe...avoid being mashed into the stall walls by his body. If he starts to act up quit immediately, calm him down, and start again from the beginning of this step.

6) Clean and Jerk: Unless the horse is seeing active service his penis is probably covered with a layer of smegma, dead skin flakes, etc...it doesn't taste great, nor is terribly useful for lubricating purposes. Wash him up with clean water or -gently- rub the accumulations from his shaft. Apply lube.. K-Y works well. I've found its best to rub the shaft till he's fully-erect, then transfer your attention to the head of the penis. Maintaining a steady pressure on the sensitive glans penis, let him do the thrusting...they usually won't come unless they can thrust-meet his strokes with your own movements. Use your own shameless imagination from this point...again being careful of kicks, love-bites, etc.

Helpful Tips: Stallions

1) Wear steel-toed boots to protect your toes from being stomped on.
2) Most Stallions quickly learn to enjoy this stuff, and will come to bug you for more in the future. If they resent this type of contact, don't try to force it or you risk getting creamed...I've seen 'em kick a stall door clean off its hinges

3) A little lube is helpful...I usually carry a 3:2 mix of KY and water in a contact lens cleaner bottle... a little more discreet than big tubes of KY.

4) DO NOT get under him or stick yer face down there unless you absolutely know and trust him...some stallions will try to lie down on top of you (squii-i-ish!), or kick suddenly and cost you a lot of expensive dental work.

5) Wear a safety helmet- I know it sounds weird, but their hooves are like rocks and can easily crush your skull. A broken head can ruin a friendship, so its a good idea to wear a helmet (of course, if you get caught playing with him you'd look REALLY SILLY wearing a helmet but "better safe than dead" I always say).

6) Did he come? Well, when a stallion comes, the tip of his penis (the glans) swells up (flares) into a mushroom shape the size of your fist or bigger... he'll thrust a couple more times then ejaculate 3-4 ounces of semen with enough force to shoot 5 feet. His semen is whitish and runny like eggwhite... do not confuse with pre-ejaculate, which is watery and clear....he will drip copious amounts of this before he comes.

NOTE: Those of you into anal/vaginal sex...do NOT attempt to put his penis into you unless you can already accommodate something the size of a human arm and fist...you risk rupture, and peritonitis if he's too big (plus it'd be real hard to explain what happened to the emergency room staff :) )

ALWAYS REMEMBER: A stallion is an unpredictable animal...he may be fine one minute, then explode into 1200 pounds of biting, kicking horseflesh. He may be enjoying himself but he doesn't know his own strength and can disable or kill you without meaning to. If you aren't familiar with the proper handling of equines I strongly urge you to find someone who does to help you the first time (I know that's tough to do, but its for both of your safeties).

How to have more Fun with your Mare

Well, maybe you tried the stallion, and maybe you haven't. This article is for those of you who might be interested in mares, but haven't had the opportunity to make the most out of the situation...
1) Find a Mare: Easier said than done, sometimes! Locate a likely recipient to your advances and get to know her...spend lots of time scratching her withers and tickling her, share breath and build her trust with you-even the most receptive mares won't have anything to do with someone they don't feel at ease with. Get to know her on a more personal level.

2) Determine if she's in heat: Most (not all, but most) mares are totally unreceptive to sexual advances when they are not in estrus. In mares the cycle is 21 days on average...16 out, then 5-6 days in, with the mare getting progressively more "hot" till she ovulates and goes out of heat about 12 hours later. Most mares will not go out of their way to show estrus signs to humans unless already accustomed to sexing with them. The best way to get her to show signs is by exposing her to a stallion or particularly randy gelding. This is caused "teasing" the mare in the breeding business, and is when the stallion does his screaming, snorting, prancing thing to show off...just like many college freshmen. The estrus mare should respond by raising her tail, squatting and emitting a stream of urine. She will also "wink" at you...by contracting her vaginal muscles and exposing her clitoris. Wink... wink... wink... you get the idea. The clitoris in the mare looks like a half-dollar-size replica of the stallion's glans penis...it is located at the bottom of the vaginal opening. The mare will usually stand quietly in the squatting position until bred.

If the mare responds to the stud by laying her ears back, biting, kicking, etc. ..it's a pretty safe bet to say she's not in heat and you should try again later. Since some folks don't have access to stallions, there are some other signs of estrus including:

A) Their labia tend to get fuller and looser...if you pull them apart (carefully, don't get kicked!) you will see that the vaginal lining is cherry-red, in contrast to its normal ruddy pink color. There will also be greater-than-usual amounts of lubrication present.

B) The cervix is loose and drapes down in folds when in estrus...when not, it's tight and budlike in appearance... (this one's no good unless you have access to and know how to use a vaginal speculum...ask yer vet to show you a cervix sometime... it looks like a little pink flower).

C) Some inexperienced mares will even respond to a human's advances if you can role-play well...sniff at her rump, snort, "bite" her flanks by pinching gently (or just go on ahead an' bite her!), tickle her and massage her external genitalia... maybe gently insert a finger or three...if she responds, then she's ready -if she puts up a fuss or tries to walk away then leave her be. She's obviously not interested, and further attention of that nature will probably just piss her off and make her resent future advances. However, if she seems to like what's going on you may then...

3) Proceed with Caution: Lube up and. using your fingers, tongue or any other portion of your anatomy that feels good to you both, proceed to pleasure her... move in and out of her with deep, slow strokes. I have noticed that the "hot spot" in mares is not the clitoris, but about 2-3 inches in on the bottom wall of the vagina just anterior (towards her head) to the urethral opening- they respond very favorably to massage there. It is possible to (gently!) insert your arm into her and slowly fist her, feeling how beautifully warm, soft and slippery her pussy is (my mare LOVES this). When they are ready to be bred they will usually be quite loose inside, and it's possible to reach all the way to the back wall of the vagina and her cervix. As you stimulate her she will then begin to slowly clamp down on your arm with her vagina. Move with the contractions and you will find her squeezing harder and harder as she approaches orgasm (yes, contrary to some studies I've read, mares DO experience orgasm, and how!). She will often squeeze with enough force to push your arm right back out...don't try to jam it back in or you could injure her...just continue to use your hand to massage the vestibule of the vagina as she contracts harder and harder. At this point my mare will usually begin to grunt in time to the contractions (sounds like OOOF!) until her climax is over, then she will pull away. Maregasm is usually accompanied by a stream of urine and natural lubricants, so be careful not to get soaked unless you're also into water sports. *Personal note for the morbidly curious* I usually work my mare with my hand to the point where she starts to contract, then climb on up and use my penis to finish the job...it feels great when they clamp down...they have amazing muscle control.

When they are done coming they will usually pick themselves up and move away for a bit, then be ready to go again in five minutes or so. I have whiled away many a happy hour bringing my mare to orgasm over and over...they have incredible stamina and it's fun for both of us. When you're both done, give her a pat on the neck, thank her and talk nice to her- don't just take what you want and leave... cuz if yer nice she'll remember you and be even more receptive next time.

Helpful Tips: Mares

1) Wear heavy boots to protect your toes.
2) Keep in close to her body...if she decides to kick you'll be harder to hit, and you can feel her tense-up before she decides to let ya have it.

3) It's a _real_ good idea to wash your hands and the mare's pubes before you go putting things into her...dirt/feces can carry bacteria that can cause her some real problems...use a mild soap like Ivory Liquid, and plenty of clean water to rinse...most mare's natural defenses can take care of the problem on their own, but there's no sense taking risks with her health if they can be avoided.

4) File your fingernails short n' smooth...a mare's vagina is very delicate, and it's easy to injure her if you're not careful. Don't put any foreign objects in her, either...no carrots or anything like that!

5) NEVER, EVER stick anything into/through her cervix - you can give her a nasty uterine infection, and if she's pregnant breaking the cervical plug means a high probability of aborting the foal, as well as complications for the mare.

6) In the Northern Hemisphere about 90% of mares will go completely out of heat between the months of Nov-Mar. This is called seasonal anestrus, and is a natural response to a decreased photoperiod. Putting them under artificial lighting can help hasten return to normal estrus cycles...there are a number of good texts on the subject.

7) Oh, yeah...If she's a big mare, you will need a bucket or stool to stand on. ..of course, you knew that :) ) *dodges thrown tomatoes*

8) Be careful not to get hurt...horses can be unpredictable.

Tags: Sex With Stallion, Guide To Have Sex With Stallion, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

Unbelievably, many women have done this over the years. In some places, women into a certain form of bestiality called "belly-riders" would lie suspended from a harness hung from the horses back while they march in a parade, sometimes naked, but always wearing skirts if clothed. (This practice in parades has since been outlawed in those countries since the women kept getting killed.)

The problems with this are many, since it's still your perogative if you want to have sex with horses or not, hey, ain't nobodys buisness if you do, I will not pass judgement on this practice, other than the medical problems I will now mention.

A horse's cock is usually somewhere between two to five feet long when erect. The length to a woman's vital organs is signifigantly less than this. The width is also usually one to three or even as many as four inches wide. This math does not work out. If a horse, which is a lot stronger than you are, shoves its erect member into you too hard, it will literally pierce your vital organs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this doesn't sound like a huge turn on to me.

If a horse isn't aroused for whatever reason and decides to rest, IT WILL SIT DOWN ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE UNDER IT. owwwwwww.

If the horse becomes panicked, it will run, because the harness holds you so close to the horses body, it will kick you with its shins in your legs and head with great force.

In conclusion, do not have sex with horses unless you are a professional, have the proper training, don't care what other people will think if they find out, and don't mind the possibility of extreme bodily injury and/or death, and breaking the law.

I mean, I've heard of daredevils, but this is ridiculous.

Tags: Sex With Horse, Guide To Have Sex With Horse, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

There are times in a man's life when he just wants a relationship based purely on sex, but cannot get such a thing from women. Maybe he is using the wrong approach. Maybe he is isolated from available women. Maybe he is just too poor and icky to get such a relationship. Or maybe he's just kinky. In any case, some men turn to chickens for solace. Larry Flynt claims that he did this once at the age of nine, and if you follow the simple instructions below, you two can be getting the chicks in no time at all.

Before I go any further, I have to admit that I am writing up this node based on information a document that I saw about 5 years ago, specifically an article from Easy Rider magazine. I wanted to find the article or some other HOWTO before I went any further, but when I told another noder about it, he immediately nodeshelled this. So now I am forced to give you the scraps that I can remember before one of the NRT shows up and does a half-assed job. If I have made any technical errors, please feel free to add your own experiences below.

You will need:

A penis.
A hen.
Lubricant.
A knife (optional).
Instructions

Like any woman, a chicken needs to be in a relaxed and receptive mood before you can successfully have sex with it. If you do not make sure of this, you will end up covered in scratches and peck marks in locations that will be hard to explain. Gently pick the chicken up in both hands and stroke it slowly, so that it becomes accustomed to sitting in your hand. Making soft clucking noises is also a good seduction tip.

Get your penis nice and lubricated, and place the head at the entry of the chicken butt. I'm calling it a butt, but it acts as a vagina, an anus, and a urethra all in one (actually, chickens only have one form of elimination). You need to be erect when you do this, because otherwise, it will be hard to enter your new girlfriend.
Slowly push your penis inside the chicken. You should have one hand on the neck of the bird, just below the head, so that it cannot peck you. The other hand may need to hold the feet to prevent scratching. Try to keep the bird as calm as you can as you do this.

If a chicken butt can accomodate a Grade AAA egg, it can expand to fit your dick, albeit somewhat tightly. However, the butt is not all that deep, and you will hit bottom fairly quickly. Don't try and push the limits here, just be glad that you're getting some.

If you want, you can wait for your chicken to calm down. However, you're never going to get much play from the bird either way, so you might as well go ahead and fuck it. Use short, gentle strokes.

OPTIONAL STEP: If you have plenty of chickens, or if you are hungry, or if it's just come time to break up with your chicken, then you can make your last night a memorable one by slitting the bird's throat at the moment of your orgasm. This will cause some strong twitching that can add some spice to your experience.
And that's all there is to it! Have fun. And remember: chickens carry salmonella, which is transmitted from the anus to the mouth. So if you believe that your significant other has been having sex with chickens, make sure that his cock is cleaned thoroughly before you give him oral sex.

Tags: Sex With Hen / Chicken, Guise To Have Sex With Hen / Chicken, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

Human–goat sexual intercourse is one of the more common types of bestiality. Of male zoophiles, 28% admitted sexual attraction to goats, ranking fourth. In female zoophiles, sexual attraction to goats is very rare or non-existent. Actual levels of sexual use of goats were lower than this however. The act is usually performed by a male human upon a goat of either sex; male goats do not commonly take the initiative to copulate with a human female, although some cases have been reported.

In Ancient Egypt, at the temple in Mendes, the goat was viewed as the incarnation of the god of procreation. As a ritual of worship, the male priests would use female goats for sex, and the female priests would do likewise with male goats. Similar activity was also witnessed in Ancient Greece. In the Middle Ages, the goat was associated with the Devil as one of his preferred forms, often in connection with sexual deviance. Women under trial as witches were forced to confess that they had sexual contact with the Devil in the form of an animal. In this regard however the goat was of the minority of forms the devil was cited to have taken.

There is a famous statue of the mythological satyr Pan using a goat for sex, which was found in Pompeii. As with the rest of the erotic art in Pompeii, it shocked the Victorian sensibilities of the time.

In 1188, Gerald of Wales published Topographia Hibernica, an illustrated manuscript. In addition to depicting a king mating with a mare then drinking its blood, the manuscript depicts a woman using a goat for sex. The manuscript is one of history's earliest propaganda tracts.

In 2006 a Sudanese man was caught using his neighbor's goat for sex. As punishment the village elders forced the man to marry 'Rose the goat' because "he used it as his wife".

Tags: Sex With Goat, Guide To Have Sex With Goat, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

The Male: When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thingyou can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannotspeak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don'tlike dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to matewith them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again,I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, youshould NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nosedolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting andthe force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would causeserious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explainingyour predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. Ifyou are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on hisside, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gentlymassaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feelsvery much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch,but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shudderingjust prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation.The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keepyour face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You canattempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, butbe warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of theway before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in a accidentalthrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

The Female: Well, the females are again a little trickier. There aretwo courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can besupported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supportingher, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is locatedat the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. Youcan rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oralaspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you.You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel aroundinside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labialike tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised ifthey start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulativemuscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including yourhand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn greenwith envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimesa lot of thrusting, clenching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but notimpossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in ashallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feetdeep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you.Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towardsyou. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly againsther. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and placethe tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested,arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usuallya fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, bothoutside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a seriesof muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member.They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experiencewhile you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two.Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractionsand thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated withfemales, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciouslyor not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shudderingagainst each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate of mate a fin, male or female,always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk tothem and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential,as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying thatthis wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and theywill want your company more the next time you visit them.

Tags: Sex With Dolphin, Guide To Have Sex With Dolphins, Is It Safe To Have Sex With Animals ?

Getting Started

The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and fifteen months. Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough without having you trying to do wierd things to her. I would strongly suggest waiting until her second heat if all appears normal.

The right bitch for you

As a rule of thumb, a dog the size of your average German Shepherd Dog is large enough to comfortably accomodate your average sized human male. However, this is not always true. I will go into further detail about signs of discomfort and warning signs later. Saint Bernards, Great Danes, Newfoundlands and other huge breeds should have no problems accommodating a human male
.
Prepararation is the key!

In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local drug store and pick up a few things. Namely: KY Jelly, (do NOT use a petroleum or oil based lubricant). Wet and Astro Glide, both of which can be found at your local adult shop, work as well. Also, if you're near a medical or veterinary supply, surgical lubricants are good too; latex gloves. If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or a dog you do not own it doesn't hurt to rubber up! You can get infections or a fever from bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis, (see the 'Zoophilia and Your Health' PIP for more information on this topic); condoms. If sharing a dog or picking up a stray, protect yourself. Although dogs do not carry AIDS, it has been theorized that the virus could survive long enough inside a bitches' vagina long enough for you to contract it, or anything else, if you have sex with her immediately after an infected person. Remember also that if she has a yeast or bacterial infection, you could get it too; surgical soap. If you know the bitch is in good health and you'd like to insert whatever strikes your fancy into her, I recommend you clean it thoroughly. A bitches' vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when in heat, is quite susceptable to infection; nail clippers. Nails could carry dirt on them or scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitches' vagina. Cut them nails down and file them. You'll also look stunning with your new manicure :); and lastly, MilkBones! Buy these with everything else if you really want to squick the counter people :)

In the trenches

Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work. I do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she is not your dog. You may wind up getting bit, which may mean changing your name to John Wayne Bobbitt. A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's 'in the mood.' How can you tell if she's in the mood? Check the discharge. The discharge of a bitch in 'Standing Heat' should be pinkish / creamy white. This cycle lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete heat cycle.

If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out of heat. It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her. She may say no the first time. Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over in front of you. However, if she reacts hostily to you, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

Definate signs that a bitch is receptive are; Flagging - raising of the tail over the back exposing the genitals, Soliciting - rubbing her butt in your crotch, sitting on your face, etcetera, and Play Posing - being excessively playful, jubilant, etcetera.

Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay. Fingering her will bring you both hours of joy and amusement :) The bitches' "clitoris" is located about 3/4-1" (in large breeds) into the vagina. The clitoral ridge is fairly prominant so easy to find. Rubbing this will cause her to start thrusting and she'll love you for every moment of it. If she's your dog or if you're certain she's healthy, you may want to engage in some 'puppylingus.' Most bitches have a bitter-sweet taste when in standing heat and I definately recommend the aroma.

With all teasing done, it's time to start your engines! The vagina of a female dog takes a sharp turn upward so you will have to enter from a seventy-five to eighty degree angle. The average body temperature of a dog is 101-102 degrees Fahrenheit so expect her to very hot and moist. I don't believe I need to tell you what to do from here on in *grin*. Enjoy!

Out of heat and spayed bitches

If the bitch is your own you may want to try her out of heat. The same rules apply except be sure and use an excessive amount of lube and be very careful. You can do a lot of damage if you try and force her and that'll be a difficult one to explain to the vet.

Most spayed bitches cannot have intercourse because of the removal of their reproductive organs. They do not come into heat and very few show interest in sex. You can try 'fingering' a spayed bitch of 'puppylingating' her but intercourse is strongly advised against unless you have extensive experience.

Anal Sex

The same rule of thumb for size applies to anal sex as well. There are some dogs that like anal sex, others that tolerate it, and those that can't stand it. Most dogs will not be immediately comfortable with anal sex but if you choose to continue, instructions on how to do so follow. If your dog reacts with an expression of pain or anger, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Your dog is not suited for anal intercourse.

Start by touching the anal area of your dog and let them get comfortable with it. Do not dive right in and insert anything. Wait until they freely alow you to touch under their tail. Be patient. While touching around their tail, wear gloves. Numerous worms and bacteria which can cause a variety of illnesses can be found in dog feces. NEVER MAKE ORAL CONTACT WITH A DOG'S ANUS. The result could be a nasty infection or a case of tape, ring, or hookworms, among others. Once your dog is comfortable with you feeling around their anus, try inserting a VERY well lubricated, gloved finger. Do this over and over again until your dog seems comfortable with it. Once again, if your dog seems to be in pain or react violently, STOP and DON'T try again. Gradually increase the number of gloved, well lubricated fingers you use until the number of fingers inserted comfortably represents the width of your penis. You may then attempt anal intercourse with your dog.

Remember:

* Not every dog enjoys anal sex. The majority do not,
* Always rubber up and never have oral contact with the anus and STOP IMMEDIATELY if your dog shows signs of pain or discomfort.
* If you notice worms in your dog's stool, bring your dog to the vet with a stool sample.

Tags: Sex With Bitch, Guide To Sex With Bitches

Three techniques for Teenager's to Octogenarians.Plus a little about menopausal women and their men.

OVERVIEW:

Any male reading the above title would initially think, "what a stupid subject, it doesn't take a manual to know how to masturbate." They would be correct in that assumption of course. But it takes time and experience to receive the full joys of self manipulation.

As an example, The average boy when first discovering this new-found past time, will jerk-off many times each day. Just the feeling of release is enough to satisfy his needs. This state goes on for many years. But as the boy grows into a man and begins to have sexual relations with other human beings, the tendency is to
search for technique and quality of experience rather than just 'getting off'.

The following are three of the most popular ways that men masturbate. Read these techniques carefully, they can be used in combinations that will give much plea-
sure for years to come.

PREPARATION:

It is suggested as a preparation for masturbation, that the participant obtain external stimuli (ES). The most popular form of (ES) is written pornography. The advan-
tage to (ES) material is that when reading about sexual situations your masturbitory experience is heightened ten-fold. There are many good authors erotic stories.
They can be readily obtained on the internet, or at any adult orientated store. (you must be at least 18 years old to legally obtain these materials)

Before going into manual techniques, let me say a cou- ple of things about preparation. Take your time. To receive full enjoyment from your experience find a time
and place where you can masturbate without fear of interruption. Also have the materials easily at hand for clean-up afterwards. This may sound obvious to
everyone, but I mention it, only because you need to remove any outside worry's. To fully enjoy your coming orgasm, it is best to turn your thoughts inward, with
as little external stimuli as possible.

Lay completely unclothed on your bed. Begin to read an erotic story. Do not touch yourself until you feel the first drop of pre-cum drip onto your skin. (This is important as preparation to technique One especially) At that time you are full prepared to begin your manual manipulation.

TECHNIQUES:

ONE: (Slip N' Slide) (SNS) Once your pre-cum has begun to flow, (Without manual manipulation) The male should begin to slowly spread his semen over his erect penis
with thumb and fingers. Taking the penis loosely be- tween his fingers and thumb as if writing a letter. Let the head of the penis gently rub against your the
valley between thumb and fore-finger. The combination between the slickness of the distributed pre-come, and the erotic story you are reading will give the closest
experience to sex with a woman as possible.

Again, in this technique it is important not to hurry. If the male performs the (SNS) technique correctly, the orgasm should 'sneak' up on him. There should be the
thought in the back of the man's mind that is something like, "Wow, I'm going to come any second, and I could- n't stop from doing so, no matter how hard I tried."
The male should slow his manipulation down at this time, and let the sensation build slowly. He should have a very slick erection fingers rubbing his shaft effortlessly.

NOTE: To increase the intensity of a (SNS) orgasm, just when the male begins to ejaculate, he should raise his legs from the waist, while continuing to lay flat on his back. Legs should be either just a few inches off the bed, or pointing toward the ceiling. (Each male will find his preferred position) The added strain of the stomach muscles will greatly intensify the orgasmic spasms.

TWO: (Stand N' JerK) When a man stands while mastur- bating his cardiovascular system is at a heightened level. This will change the overall intense feeling of his experience. Reading erotica or visual stimuli is still recommended for this style. The best place to perform Stand N' Jerk (SNJ) is in the participants bathroom. The advantages are obvious, privacy, mirrors, and easy clean up.

The average male should begin the (SNJ) technique by viewing pictures or reading erotic stories. (Of course it's not necessary, but it will heighten the orgasm) The same suggestions apply as to position and style of 'hand manipulation' as described in technique ONE. As the male reaches his orgasmic state, (if he performed his masturbation as out lined) will feel a tightness in his legs, most markedly in the thighs. Just as the participant's orgasm is almost upon him, he should stop manual manipulation, but continue to hold his erect penis. (The right moment for this is just as he feels the spasms being forced from the prostate gland.)

If the participant did every step correctly, he should, at the final moment before ejaculation, see clear sea- man spurt out. The feeling at this moment should be extremely pleasurable. This is called 'Pre-Orgasm'. After several spurts of clear semen, the full orgasm should begin. At this point the 'milky' semen will begin to spurt, bringing on another even more powerful set of orgasmic spasms. The (SNJ) technique, if per- formed correctly, will give the participant a 'double' orgasm, lasting twice as long as normal manipulation would allow.

THREE: (Chinese Position) Called "Chinese" only because in the 19th century when this position first became popular in opium dens in England, the participant's would say, "Giving a little life to China." This may sound rather obscure, but let me explain. The Chinese Position is basically where the man lays on his sto- mach while masturbating. This position takes a little imagination on the man's part, because he must find the props to allow him to lay face down and still be able to 'jerk-off'. In the nineteenth century men who visited the opium dens had a choice, they could have a privet pallet to enjoy a little solo action, and when they came their sperm would shoot toward 'China - the other side of the world' hence the name 'Chinese Po- sition". They also had the option of having a Chinese woman under their specially constructed pallet, who would give them oral stimulation. (Another and more meaningful reason to call it the "Chinese Position")

The best way to situate ones self in this position has been to use a couple of chairs, or if twin beds are available (such as in a motel room) to move them close enough together to allow the man to lay over the 'crack'. The hand should act as a vagina (held steady while the male performs humping motions)

The advantage to this position is that the male can 'hump' and more closely imitate actual sex with a woman. Also, (after placing a towel on the floor) he can reach orgasm and release without having to worry about aim or clean up. This position gives the male a since of freedom of release, very similar to that of the orgasmic release he gets with a woman.

There are another 234 known techniques and positions for male masturbation, but the ones outlined here are by far the most popular among men worldwide. It is a
normal progression for men as they grow older to take longer to reach orgasm. The reason for this is both physiological and psychological. On the one hand as the body matures semen production slackens, also the male organ, although just as sensitive at in the teenage years, responds differently to external stimuli. And psychologically, a desensitizing effect takes place with experience. Anything, even sex can become routine.

The average American couple at age 25 will have sex 300 times a year. At 45 this same couple will only be experiencing sexual relations 75 times a year. During the initial menopausal years for the wife (50-55) the sexual contact can drop to as low as 12 times a year. During this time masturbation becomes important to males in this category. The typical male even at 60, needs regular sexual release. It is one of the best cardiovascular exercise available. (recent tests show that males who have at least two orgasms a week live 30% longer that males who don't)

A ray of hope for those men experiencing the menopausal stage. It usually only lasts during transitional stages. The post menopausal woman can have a more forceful and inventive sex drive than she did in her 20's. Be patient, and keep in mind that, 'all good things come to those willing to wait'.

FEMALE MENOPAUSE

"Good Sex". Anything worth doing takes effort. The same thing applies to a good sex life. Don't treat your partner as if she's a vestal virgin. Share your feelings, wants, and needs with her. If you are reading sexy stories to masturbate to, bring your woman into it with you. You just might be surprised at her posi- tive reaction. (You will know how fast to do this, some women will not respond, but most will surprise you.) A suggestion. If your sex life is non-existent, try wear- ing nothing to bed. And when you wake up with that erection in the morning, bring your partners hand to it. Get her used to touching it, try to make it a morning tradition. If she loves you, she'll start doing
it more and more, you just have to get her used to the idea. This is a good way to get her thinking about sex during the day.

Another suggestion, whenever the mood strikes (and you have an erection) and when it seems right, expose it. Let her see you erect. A good time is at night, when you are going to bed. She's brushed her teeth and is laying in bed while you're in the bathroom. Get hard, then walk to your side of the bed sporting your lust for her to see. At the very least you'll get a comment, and at the very best you'll get sex. Remember, you are the one that (during this period in her life) who must be the instigator.

One last note: Give her an orgasm. That will do the most to get her 'back in the saddle' again. Let her be on top, so she can control her own manipulations.


Tags: The Art of Male Masturbation (From a sex therapist)

Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out.

When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.

Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn't it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I've seen and tasted plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in bushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.

Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.

Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.

Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled. Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than
men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.

Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.

Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands.

Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently. Tongue-fuck her. This feels define. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.

Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'

There's a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.

But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your cunt-licking talents. Before, during or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.

Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing. She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited
or only when she's having an orgasm. Your woman might turn flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.

When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm.

The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, make her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts, pinch her nipples. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.

Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.

Tags: How To Eat A Pussy

The Girls' Guide To The HOTTEST Sex Experience On The Planet!

Women: Have you ever wished you could have-

* The HOTTEST, most pleasurable, oral and vaginal sex imaginable?
* Simple, PURE physical satisfaction with no strings attached?
* Sex without AIDS or pregnancy fears?
* The privacy of masturbation, but the satisfaction and stimulation of sex?
* A truly HOT, nasty sex experience to share with your significant other?

If you answered "yes" to any of these, then you should consider having sex with a DOG. Wait, don't laugh! I am VERY serious. I know it sounds gross, but you really don't know what you are missing until you've tried it. Thousands of women and girls worldwide agree with me (just read the animal sex newsgroups and web pages), and, by all indications, more women are discovering this secret every day. Women have been having sex with animals for centuries, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to any woman who wants to experience what is possibly the most intense and electrifying sexual experience there is.

If you have a dog, chances are he is practically your best friend already. He is more loyal than any man, and loves you completely, unlike many men. He doesn't talk back or argue, and he's always there for you. Why not take it a step further and let him become your sexual lover? Male dogs are naturally horny practically all the time, so helping him relieve some sexual frustration is just a demonstration of your love for him (and a lot of fun for you)! Unlike men, dogs are almost always ready to have sex when you want to, they won't tell all their friends about your experience together (and who cares if they do?), they can't expose you to AIDS or other sexual diseases, and, perhaps best of all, they can't get you pregnant!

I'm sure many of you are disgusted by this whole idea, and that's okay. You can just quit reading now and go on with your boring "normal" sex life. But if you want to learn something new, something that will make your present solo, heterosexual, or homosexual sex life take off to incredible new heights, then listen up.

I am a 33-year-old middle-class female. I first had sexual contact with a dog when I was 14, and it continued off and on until I went to college. At the time, I always felt ashamed or weird and guilty, and that kind of ruined the experience. After I graduated from college and had my own place, I got another dog. One night, I came home drunk and horny and ended up messing around with Max the way I had with my other dog before I'd left home. Afterwards, the guilty feelings set in again, but I started thinking about it at another level. I've always been a frequent masturbator, and I'd come to realize that it is a woman's perfect right to please her body...there was nothing to feel guilty about acknowledging that I was sexual creature. Along the same lines, I realized that Max was also a sexual creature, only he didn't have any way to relieve himself the way humans do. Therefore, I could not think of any reason it would be wrong for me to please Max as well as myself...if he wanted to do it, how could it be wrong? I decided that if God didn't want us to do it, he wouldn't have made dogs so interested in sniffing and licking human females. Or he wouldn't have made Max interested in being stimulated by humans, either. I decided that it's my body, and my puppy, and I could do what I wanted as long as it didn't hurt either one of us
and we both wanted to do it.

Okay, enough about me, let's discuss how YOU can enjoy dog sex. There are four areas that I will cover in this guide: Getting started, Oral sex, Vaginal sex and Anal sex.

GETTING STARTED

If you are still reading this, chances are you are more than just a little bit curious about dogsex, but you're nervous. You worry that it might mean you are "going over the edge." Or that you could be hurt somehow by the experience. Well, it's okay to be nervous...this is a new experience unlike any you have had, and it is certainly not for everyone. Obviously, it is one of the more perverse things you can do. But, in many ways, that's why it's such a HOT thing to do...the nastier things are, the more some of us like them. Do you find that this is true for you and your sexuality? If so, then you should think about letting yourself go and just start to experiment with your Ruff Ruff.

You don't have to dive in and have sex with him the first night. If you don't like it after trying the preliminaries, you can stop any time (unlike some asshole men, a dog won't try to FORCE you to keep going if you get him stimulated!). I've never seen a dog get overly aggressive or mean with a woman, so I don't think you should worry about that.

Which breeds are best? Any non-neutered males will respond. (Some of the women I have corresponded with say that even some females and neutered males will enjoy licking you.) Males between 9 mos. five years old seem to be the most interested. Dogs with large penises are the best for vaginal and anal sex, but any male will
be good for oral sex. Below is a table of comparative penis sizes that was posted in the newsgroups earlier. I think it is pretty accurate.

Breed Useable Length Diameter
(inches) (inches)
Cocker Spaniel 2.0-3.0 0.5-1.0
Greyhound 2.5-3.0 0.5-1.0
Bulldog 2.5-5.0 1.0
Dalmatian. 3.0-4.5 1.0
Collie. 4.0-5.0 1.0
Labrador. 4.0-6.0 1.0
Irish Setter. 4.0-6.0 1.0
German Shepherd. 5.0-7.0 1.5
Great Dane. 5.0-7.0 1.5
Saint Bernard. 7.0-9.0 1.5-1.75
Mastiff. 7.0-8.0 1.5-1.75

I have tried Collies, Labs, Shepherds, and Great Danes. My favorite is the German Shepherd...they are large enough and pretty gentle.

So, you have your dog, but how do you get him interested? I suggest that first you get yourself stimulated so that you are producing your natural scent and lubrication. Do this while snuggling with him on the bed or floor so that he can start to smell it. After a few minutes, start with him. Pull the sheath back from his cock and study his cock; get to know it's shape and size. Work the sheath back and forth over it until it expands a little and begins to stick out of the sheath on its own. (If you have the guts, give it a little suck with your lips!) Then gently take hold of the red shaft between your thumb and finger and move it back and forth. His penis should start to grow a lot then.
Masturbate him basically like you would a guy. Once it is fully erect, he should be getting pretty horny. (One important thing to remember when handling a dog: While most men like to have their balls rubbed or this is not so with all dogs. I recommend avoiding his testicles altogether, at least at the start.)

ORAL SEX

Once he is horny, you should move so that your vagina is near his nose and he can get a good whiff of you. About half the dogs who are new at this will respond naturally right then. Dogs are naturally attracted to the scent of a woman's vagina, so many of you have already discovered that Rover likes to sniff your panties or even your crotch. Allowing him to take it a step further is an excellent way to experience some of the greatest oral sex you will ever have in your life! One of the nicest things about allowing a dog to lick your snatch is that most male dogs will spend much more time than a human male providing you with the most electrifying oral sex. A dogs tongue is also much longer and is able to get to many places that a man can't or won't. A dogs tongue is covered with thousands of tiny buds that when he licks your clitoris you will feel sensations that you did not know existed. And, how many of you have had a man give you analingus? Not many i'll bet. Well, I'm hear to tell you that having your ass licked is a great thing, and a dog has no problem doing it for you! If you have never experienced a tongue working from the very top of your slit all the way around to the end of your crack you have truly missed something grand.

There are several very good positions for you to try if you want to try this. If you decide that your preference is clitoral/vaginal only I have found one position that works very
well. I recommend that you sit on the edge of a bed so that the back of your calfs are flat against the edge of the bed. You then lay straight back picking your feet up and placing the on the edge of the bed. This will expose your clitoris, labia and vagina to his waiting tongue. For those of you who would like more but want to prevent him from trying to mount you then the ideal position is reclining on your side, on pillows or cushions, on the floor. All you have to do at that point is to raise your leg a little and he will have access to all of your pussy and ass. For those of you that want that ultimate experience you will have to give give him full and total access to you. This can only
happen when you are down on all fours. Now I know that staying in that position for more than a few minutes is not comfortable at all but there is one way that I have found that will be both very comfortable and very enjoying. You kneel at the edge of your bed and then lie the upper part of you body face down onto the bed, keeping your knees on the floor. You then spread your knees apart as much as you dare giving him full access to you. One very important item to remember while you are considering what
position you would like to use is that if you do not wish to have him mount you this is not the position to use.

Now that we gone over all the wonderful things that a dog can do for you with his tongue, lets talk about what you can do with yours. According to several doctors and veterinarians I have spoken with, a dogs cock is three times cleaner that a man's cock. A dog will spend considerable time every day cleaning it, how many men do you know that do that? So, why not try it? I find that when I am sucking off a dog, I have a tremendous amount of mental stimulation that gets me horny as hell! Just knowing that I am sucking on an animal's dick will get me so horny, that it doesn't take much to get me off. I will usually use a free hand to masturbate while I am sucking him, and I have some of the greatest orgasms this way.

Most male dogs will gladly allow you to suck them and there are many positions to do it in. I find that two positions are very good and are easy to accomplish. For those of you that are just starting out and are nervous about doing it I recommend that you have him lie on his back with you next to him. This will give you full access to his cock and be able to control all the action. Get him hard with your hand, then start to lick it. Finally, put the entire penis in your mouth and begin sucking, moving up and down on it like you would a man. Rover will be heaven by this point.

While you are moving your mouth over his cock you should try to place the tip of you tongue into the indentation on the head of his cock as this will help him to reach his climax. A dog is different than most mammals as from the time they begin to become aroused until they begin to get soft they will have some form of ejaculate coming from their cocks. At first arousal there is a clear thin fluid that tastes like iron and has the consistency of water, this is his precum that is for lubrication so his knot will slip into the females vagina. At full arousal is when he actually will produce his sperm and you can tell when this happens as his cum will begin to have a slightly salty taste to
it. You should be aware that his cum will never be as thick as a mans but he will produce about twice as much as a man. I personally think that dog cum tastes much better than man cum.

As he gets closer to his climax you will notice that at the base of his cock there is a very large bulge known as his knot. This knot is used to hold his cock inside a female (dog or human) until he has finished ejaculating. If you are considering going further then you should make a mental note of the size of his cock and knot. The knot for a dog whose cock is 6 inches long and 1 and a half wide can be two inches long and 4 inches wide.

My favorite position for performing oral sex on a dog is a subservient one. I lie on my back on the floor next to the couch, with the couch propping up my head, aided by pillows if necessary. Then Max "mounts" the couch, with his paws and upper body on the couch and his cock in my mouth. Then he just fucks my mouth while I use a vibrator in my pussy with one hand and my other hand rubs my clit. I have trained myself to cum about when he does. It is so HOT having hot doggie sperm shoot in your mouth as you cum, too!

VAGINAL SEX.

Good old screwing thats what this is all about, well not quite. There are a number of things that differ from sex with a man other than the dog can't get you pregnant.

At this point I will assume that you have made the decision that you are going to have sexual intercourse with a large dog (75 pounds) and that you are there by yourself. I will be your companion and you may visualize me there. The first discussion is how are we going to do it. There are two prime positions to use, the old standard doggy style and the safer missionary style. (If you choose the missionary position, you can prevent him from getting his knot inside you and we can be in control the whole
time.) Ok you want to try the missionary position, you are siting on the edge of a chair, a towel under you to prevent his and your cum from staining the chair, your ass at the very edge legs spread wide apart. Here comes your lover. He sees your warm and wet pussy and at once begins to sniff and lick it. You call him up to you so that he has his front paws on the chair his body between your legs. (I like to put some socks over his front paws so that he can't scratch me accidentally.)

Then you take his sheath in hand and begin to stroke it gently and as he begins to swell and extend you guide the end of his cock into you. As he feels the wetness and warmth of you he begins to hump, slowly at first then faster and faster until you feel his knot at the mouth of your vagina. As his cum slowly fills you up you too reach climax. If you allow him to put his knot inside you YOU WILL be together until he gets soft which usually take 15 to 20 minutes but can take up to 45 minutes. The
major benefit of the missionary position is that if you do not want to have his knot inside you you can, in almost all cases, prevent it by holding it in your hand. You can also push against his hind legs to both keep his knot out and control the rythmn. But I find that the most satisfying and arousing sensations I feel are caused by the knot being inside me. I try to have my dog put his knot in every time we make love, but whether or not you want to is up to you. I have found that having his knot inside
pushes against the inside walls of my vagina in a truly unique way. It also pushes underneath my clitoris and that the sensations of that happening drive me wild. (However, not having the knot inside you can also be fun, as it bumps your clit with each thrust; that is, if your finger isn't working your clit already.)

Doggy style is just that, you are down on all fours with him. This position will allow you to fully experience the pleasure of having a canine lover. He will at first sniff then lick you and after the tastes and smells begin to arouse him he will move to a position to mount you. A dog will usually come up directly behind you and mount you that way. Once he has mounted you he will begin to hump trying to get his cock into you, if this is something new to him then you should guide his cock to where it should go, he
will do the rest. As the two of you continue he will move faster and faster with his strokes until you feel his knot begin to swell and rub at the lips. At this point we have decision time, If you want it inside you you should totally relax and allow him to slide it in. If you don't want it in you you should reach back with your hand and try to hold the knot with your hand. A simple note of warning, if you use this position and then decide that you don't want his knot in you you may not be able to prevent it from happening. If his knot is in you you WILL have to wait until he gets soft. I do not recommend you trying to remove it as unless your vagina is very large, it will hurt and may even injure you. So if you have any doubt's at all I would stick with the missionary position.

Well we are now mated and as his knot continues to swell inside you you begin to feel this warm feeling inside you. A dog's body temperature is higher than a humans and his cum is even warmer, and as he cums deep inside you you can feel that warmth. His knot is now fully expanded, his cum is flowing into you, your juices mix with his and at this point you begin to feel his knot begin to throb. I have reached orgasm up to seven times in a row while this is happening.

ANAL SEX

In finding a good position for male canine/human female anal sex I have tried dozens of positions and found many that work and many that didn't. I have found that the best position is one called a modified doggy position. To get into that position you should first find an open space, very private of course, inside your house or wherever and place a soft pad on the floor for you to kneel on. You then kneel on the pad and get into a normal doggy position. To achieve the correct position you now bring your knees forward and tuck them up into your stomach. Now that you have done that you rest the front of your body on your elbows. Great you have mastered getting into the proper position, now there are some other things you have to do before you call to your lover. We have this little problem with lubrication that has to be solved with something otherwise this will really hurt. I have found that natural oils such as olive or corn oils work best and will not hurt your lover. NEVER NEVER use vaseline or the like as they will make the dog sick or even worse.

Well now we know what lubrication we are going to use we must now apply it. It is not enough to just smear a little oil on the outside of your anus for this to work, you must lubricate both outside as well as inside. The easy part is the outside and I leave that until I am in position to do it. To lubricate the inside I use a large eyedropper, that will hold about an once or so of oil, to get the oil inside and when I have done that insert one finger to spread the oil over the muscle.

Congratulations you are now ready, you have done your inside lubrication and are in the proper position and here comes your lover. You should now take your oil and rub some on your anus and the area around it. After he has mounted you you will probably have to guide him into you. Once he is inside he will hump just like with vaginal sex. The same precautions concerning his knot should be used here as well. I do not recommend those just starting out to try having him insert his knot. As there is not as much general stimulation with anal sex, you may want to gently masturbate while he is in you. There is one way to increase the stimulation and that is place a dildo or vibrator into your vagina. This will transmit his movement inside you to you clitoris and help you reach climax. I almost always do this and can safely say that the best orgasms I have ever experienced in my life were when doing this.

Well, that's it. That's certainly enough info to get you started, Okay, girls, GOOD LUCK. Quit worrying, and get fucking! Take Care.

Tags: Safe Sex With Your Lovely Dog

After effects of Iraq war has started,  Nato forces used dengerous wepons against Iraqai people in Falluja and now its time to check the results. A breaking news spread all over internet that an Iraqi woman in Karbala has given birth to a baby girl who has one eye and no nose. This is the second case that a woman gave birth to a deformed chaild.

Doctors said the baby was recently born at the Women and Delivery Hospital in Karbala, the capital of Karbala Governorate, according to the Aswat al-Iraq news agency. "One of our women delivery chambers has witnessed a strange birth," a doctor told the news agency.

Dr. Sabah Nour Hadi al-Moussawi said the 24-year-old mother from Najaf gave birth to a baby girl who has only one eye, no nose and a distorted ear. Moussawi said it was the first such case ever at the hospital, but noted that the woman previously also gave birth to a deformed child who died several years ago.

In March 2010, doctors in the Iraqi city of Falluja reported high levels of birth defects, mainly involving the heart and nervous system.

I HATE WAR, DO YOU ????


Tags: A One-Eyed Child Was Born In Iraq, Iraqi woman gives birth to one-eyed child, war effects 

1. MYTH: Columbus set out to prove the earth was round.

FACT: Columbus (and most everyone else) already knew the Earth was round.

2. MYTH: Queen Isabella of Spain sold the crown jewels to pay for Columbus's voyage.

FACT: She didn't need to.

3. MYTH: Columbus's ships were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.

FACT: Their original names were la Santa Clara, la Pinta, and la Santa Gallega.

4. MYTH: Columbus discovered America.

FACT: Columbus never set foot in North America.

5. MYTH: Columbus died a penniless man in prison.

Fact: FACT: Columbus died an exonerated man with his wealth restored.


Tags: Christopher Columbus 5 Misconceptions Revealed