Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman's ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman's elaborate scheme at getting sweet revenge on his unsuspecting foe.

Eric Cartman excitedly brags to the other children that he is the first to reach puberty, since he's gotten his first pubes. It turns out, however, that he bought them from Scott Tenorman for ten dollars.

Cartman tries to get back his $10 through various methods, but is always outwitted by Scott. He even loses an additional $6.12 in the process. As he plots his revenge he first attempts to get his friends on his side, but because Cartman is the only victim, none are interested.

Cartman's first major plan involves training one of Farmer Carl Denkins' ponies to bite Scott's wiener off. He trains one to attack a scarecrow with a hot dog hanging from its pants. The pony doesn't bite it off the first time, instead giving it a blowjob. Jimbo Kern and Ned turn up, stating that the best way to humiliate Scott is to exploit his weaknesses. After discovering that Scott likes the band Radiohead, Cartman comes up with a scheme that involves dubbing his voice over that of Radiohead to make it appear that the band is telling Kurt Loder that Scott Tenorman is "totally not cool." This plan fails, and Scott further humiliates Cartman by showing the entire town a movie of Cartman pretending to be a pig in order to get his money back. Cartman abruptly becomes a laughing stock in front of the whole town: Kenny even dies from laughing too much at the video.

Cartman then proceeds to carry out a variation of his plan to get Scott's wiener bitten off. He invites Radiohead (Scott's favorite band) to come to South Park to meet Scott (who is, according to the letter, dying from cancer in his ass) and asks if they are free "next Tuesday around 5." Stan and Kyle betray Cartman, telling Scott about Cartman's plan. Cartman invites Scott to a chili cookoff, telling him that he can have a free pony ride at the event. Scott, who thinks he knows what Cartman's plan is, tells his parents that there is an abandoned pony at Farmer Denkins' place. The parents go to Farmer Denkins in order to have the pony sent to an animal shelter. Scott decides to humiliate Cartman once again by having all the kids in South Park put their pubic hair in Scott's chili and watch Cartman eat it.

At the cook off, everybody is waiting for Cartman to get humiliated (except for Chef, who brought his own chili). Scott eats Cartman's chili first, and then taunts Cartman to do the same. When Cartman has eaten most of a bowl of Scott's chili, Scott begins to tell Cartman what he did. However, Cartman has anticipated Scott's move, and reveals that he switched Scott's chili with Chef's. He explains that he knew that Stan and Kyle were going to tell Scott about his original plan. He also explains that he knew that, as Scott wouldn't want his wiener bitten off, he would send someone to get the pony for him, most likely his parents. What Scott didn't know is that Farmer Denkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing this, Cartman warned Denkins that violent pony killers were in the area, as Denkins wouldn't want his favorite pony killed. Denkins shot Scott's parents when he saw Scott's dad's flashlight. Cartman stole the bodies and spent the night chopping the bodies up with a hacksaw, cooking them into his "Mr and Mrs Tenorman Chili", which Cartman reveals he has just fed to Scott. After that is revealed, Scott pulls out his mother's finger out of the chili with a diamond ring on it. Scott (and everyone else present) is horrified and devastated at the loss of his parents. At that moment, right on cue (and exactly on Cartman's schedule), Radiohead shows up. They see Scott sobbing and mock him for being a "crybaby" and "totally not cool".

Synopsis

Cartman gets pubic hair. But Cartman doesn't get just any pubes; he buys some from one of the older kids at South Park Elementary, Scott Tenorman. Cartman wants to show the other boys that he can be the first kid in the fourth grade with this mark of manliness, until everyone tells him that pubes don't count unless he grows his own. Cartman seeks wicked revenge on Scott Tenorman when he won't give him his money back.
Full Recap

Cartman is excited, since he got his pubes before the other boys. Of course Kyle, Kenny and Stan think he's a dumb ass, since he bought them from 8th grader Scott Tenorman and paid $10. Cartman tries to get his money back, only Scott Tenorman keeps getting the better of him, including sending him to Fort Collins for "Pubefest." Cartman vows to get his revenge.
Cartman tries to rally the other kids to help him in his revenge. Cartman has a plan where he trains a pony to bite Scott's wiener off. Stan's Uncle Jimbo gives Cartman advice on how to get back at Scott Tenorman. Find his weakness and exploit that weakness. Under surveillance, Cartman discovers that Scott likes the band Radiohead. Cartman gets Scott downtown, where he plans to show a video of Radiohead saying that "Scott Tenorman isn't cool"; while the crowd sees that, it doesn't go over as big as the video Scott shows of Cartman acting like a little piggy. Cartman works out a master plan for revenge.
Cartman's master plan is to combine both of his plans, the wiener biting pony and humiliating Scott in front of Radiohead. Radiohead receives a letter from Cartman, telling them about his friend Scott who has "cancer in his ass" and they decide to come to South Park. Meanwhile, Cartman invites Scott to participate in the "Chili Con Carnival" and Stan warns Scott about the pony. Scott creates a chili filled with pubes.
At the carnival Scott reveals his secret ingredient, which Cartman anticipated. He also anticipated Stan & Kyle's betrayal about the pony, which leaves him to reveal the secret ingredient in the chili that Scott is currently eating, a chili called "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili." Scott breaks down and cries, just as Radiohead arrives calling him "totally not cool" and Cartman has his revenge.
Kenny dies from laughter when the video of Cartman acting like a little piggy is shown.


Tags: scott tenorman, jack tenorman, cartman, south park, eric cartman, south park studios