After she joked to a friend at the age of 11 that she was going to kill her sister and herself, Apple's parents placed her in therapy. The following year, she was raped by a stranger on her way home from school outside of her mother's apartment. She would allude to the trauma years later in such songs as "Sullen Girl", and "The Child is Gone."
For years after her rape she would check her closets to make sure no one was hiding in the house and would be nervous around older men. And she still continues to have bad, violent dreams. During her teens and the months she spent making her album, Tidal, she suffered with an eating disorder. Frustrated at the misunderstanding by the media of her eating disorder she attempted to explain it in a 1998 Rolling Stone interview, "I definitely had an eating disorder. What was really frustrating for me was that everyone though I was anorexic, and I wasn't. I was really depressed and self-loathing. For me, it wasn't about being thin, it was about getting rid of the bait attached to my body. A lot of it came from the self-loathing that came from being raped at the point of developing my voluptuousness. I just thought that if you had a body and if you had anything on you that would be grabbed, it would be grabbed. So I did purposely get rid of it." As a result of her eating disorder Fiona became extremely thin but the media wrote off her thinness as an attempt to "fit in." After her "Criminal" video from her album, "Tidal," came out she began gaining weight on purpose. She wanted to show the world that she didn't care about being thin. In 1998 she said, "I mean, my plan is to gain enough weight that I can really be considered voluptuous, and do my 'First Taste' video. And I am preparing myself for what is going to happen. Because soon they will be saying that I'm fat. And it will hurt me."
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