“I was 15 and it was with an older man I was absolutely besotted with, so I was very willing. Unfortunately, it was a nothing experience, in his friend’s super low-fi bachelor pad with dirty pants and half-eaten bowls of cereal around the bed. It lasted 40 seconds. And I remember the words ‘Is that it?’ spinning around my head, cos, if that’s what it’s all about, someone has been telling me fibs.”


Although Shirley had a "perfect upbringing," she was still "desperately unhappy." She was basically tortured at school, being called "posh," bloodhound," and "frog-eyes." She would even come home from school bruised and beat up.

Shirley says "I was convinced I was the ugliest creature that ever lived, that everybody hated me, and the only way to deal with it was to be as unpleasant as possible." By the time she was just ten years old, Shirley had become a nightmare to her parents. She was "an unhappy, angry child" and has said, "I was a horrible child. I was really vile. I was very bad-tempered and sullen and not a very pleasant, cute child. I was aggressive."

As a way to rebel, Shirley went out pursuing men with her friends wearing short skirts and a lot of make-up. Her father tried to stop her. She says, "He was trying to terrorize me to make me stop, but I got tired of empty rebellion very quickly, anyway. And then, all I wanted to do was have a boyfriend. Sex took over."

Shirley lost her virginity at 15 years old to a much older man. She had joined a drama group outside school and started drinking heavily. She had sex with her music teacher of the drama group. She says, "The actual event was ghastly. We did it in his grotty bachelor friend's house while the friend was asleep on the couch down below. There were porno mags all over the bedroom and socks were on. Vests were on. A super low-fi bachelor pad with dirty pants and half-eaten bowls of cereal around the bed. It lasted 40 seconds."

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